Jerrett Rupley - My Everything

In one word: amazing.

I’m his best friend.  I could list for you the million ways he’s changed my life but it would probably never end, because it gets added to every day. Never in my life have I ever met someone so pure, so accepting of who I am. There was always something wrong with me, thats all I ever heard until I met him. I know I get on his nerves sometimes, but he never lets it show. He never tries to hurt me, he never lashes out. He never hurts my feelings, he never calls me names. He’s never rude, he’s always realistic. He trusts me with his pain, his shortcomings. I trust him with mine.

I’ve been having trouble accepting that there may be a time when someone else comes between us. I want so badly for it not to happen, and hopefully it won’t. Selfish as that sounds. If he finds someone I’ll be happy, not because I’m glad he found someone, but because HE’S happy with someone. Something he so greatly deserves. I just worry that she won’t understand him like I do, she won’t care like I do. She won’t accept his faults like I do. She won’t worry about his well being like I do. She won’t LOVE him like I do.

In the back of my mind I will always firmly believe that it should be me. Even if it never is. [God forbid.] He’s my world, everything he does means so much to me. Simple gestures. The only person to ever call me gorgeous without previously knowing me. The only person to ask me what was wrong, sincerely trying to listen. The first person to show me what it means to care about someone so much you would gladly walk thirty thousand miles through the desert in the middle of a hurricane and watch them kiss someone else right in front of you just to see them smile.

Distance keeps us apart. Across the country. Yet I’ve never felt so close to someone. Like no matter what he’ll listen. Even the stupid things, like stubbing my toe, or being called a bitch. He’s the most amazing person I’ve ever met. He gives me a reason to get up every day. To smile and mean it. To live. Something I thought I’d lost forever. To see him in such pain, believeing he isn’t worth anything. It makes me want to die. It makes me downright murderous. No one deserves that, him least of all. If I could take all the pain for him I would do it in a moment. If I could be with him I would do it in a minute. I don’t know what the future brings with it, I’m not sure I want to know. As long as he’s a part of it, I don’t really care. He’s a beautiful person, the most beautiful one I know. I will never leave him, forget him, or let myself lose him. Never. I love him more than anyone ever has, does, or will. This, I promise you. Maybe one day he’ll be able to promise it too.

My life’s a rainstorm of “I love you’s” I miss YOU jumping in the puddles.