Janet Grimm - A Cheerful Light In My Life

I have had depression problems all of my life.  To say that it sucks is an understatement; it has, at times completely dictated the quality (or lack thereof) of my life.  Its a disorder I inherited from my dad’s side of the family.  My mother has never suffered from the illness. 

When I was younger, it was a constant source of stress between us.  She simply could not understand what was wrong with me, how my motivation would drop off so suddenly, how I could sleep for hours and hours on end, how moody and silent I could be at times. 

But she fought hard to understand, and not just understand, but to educate herself so that she could help me as much as she was capable.  This past May, I called home from school at 4 in the morning and woke her up.  “I’m depressed, Mom.  It won’t go away, I can’t take care of myself, and I need to come home.”

There were no hysterics, no panic, just a calm “Okay, I’ll be there tomorrow.” And as days would pass, some worse than others, she would do what no one else could; nothing.  She would just hold me and run her fingers through my hair and say “I just wish I could make it better for you.” And funnily enough, just having her say that, did.