Dan Blanchard - Indescribable

In the darkest hours of my life, Dan Blanchard rescued me from drowning in a sea of despair.  He offered his hand, his shoulder, his wisdom, and his friendship.  He is a forever friend.

I was going through a bitter divorce proceeding, I was all alone, and I was miserable.  I had isolated myself from my family and friends.  One evening, I decided to pour my heart out on the ‘profile’ section of MySpace.

The evening after mediation in the divorce, I found myself wondering if I even wanted to live.  My life had no joy.  I wasn’t living any longer, just existing.  I remembered the mySpace acount and went to write...and found a note from Dan. 

He said he appreciated the humor (I was still funny?) in my profile, that I was a remarkable writer (someone noticed?), that he was sorry I was feeling so badly (he was sorry?) and then apologized on behalf of all ‘elite white males’ who had incurred my wrath.  He invited me to respond… he said it would be “serendiptious” if I choose to.  He told me I was beautiful (how long it had been since I heard that) and if I needed a friend, he would be there.

“Serendiptious.” I laughed, delighted.  What a clever word.  I wrote back, not wanting to talk, but found myself pouring my heart out.  He wrote, I wrote, back and forth; then - I found myself on the phone with him… and after 6 hours of talking, at 4 a.m., I said “I have to meet you - now, right now” and he said “okay.”

We met in a parking lot.  He got out of his car, I got out of mine, and we didn’t speak for a moment.  He asked if he would do, and I asked if I would, and then we got back in our cars and headed for our respective homes, and one of us called the other and we talked some more.

For the next few weeks, we talked constantly.  I found myself, the woman who had vowed never to date again, tumbling down that slippery slope.  I think it’s safe to say he had strong feelings.  Whatever he felt, he knew the timing was wrong.  He turned it off.  He wasn’t ‘there’ and he knew I wasn’t stable enough to be ‘there’ either.  His truth hurt my feelings and I lashed out at him.  I was wrong.

Though our time ‘hanging out’ was brief, Dan gave me a gift.  He gave me a desire - a desire to know God.  Dan is a Christian, in the truest sense of the word.  He is wrapped in an aura of goodness and light.  He has ‘soulshine.’ He shined that soulshine on me, a heathen (!) - at least I thought I was until Dan showed me that perhaps I wasn’t so bad.

I found warmth in Dan’s presence.  He wrapped me in a warm safe hug.  He was a soft place to fall.  He was loving and gentle and kind to me at a time when I was not a loveable person - happy one moment, bitter the next.  Difficult at best.

Dan’s warmth and wisdom brought me a much needed peace, and a moment to breathe, a chance to catch my breath.  He picked up my burden and carried it for me and when I got it back, it was lighter.

I didn’t appreciate him the way I should have.  I realize now that he was only in my life for a moment, long enough for me to want to strive to be like him in some small fashion...long enough for me to reach a tentative hand to God.

Dan is an angel.  There is no doubt in my mind and surely in the minds of those who know him far better than I that he is one of those very few people that God chose to be an ambassador. Dan is a light that shines brightly upon a path of hope and goodness.  He does not try to force or persuade; he just shines his light on the way.  Dan believed in me.  I do not know why.  But his belief gave water to a parched soul, and I began to live again.

I did not appreciate his gifts the way I should have.  I was blinded by pain and anger and bitterness.  I pushed him away.

I miss him.

If I close my eyes and think of him I feel his warmth.  He would say it is not his, but God’s…

Thank you Dan. You are my soulshine.  Better than sunshine.  Better than moonshine.  Better than rain.